What to Expect at Mediation

LITIGATION

Expense

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman that I don’t like and give her a house.” – Lewis Grizzard

Litigation is expensive, though not just in the dollars expended as referenced in the quote above, but also in the mental and emotional tax that goes along with it.

You have worked hard, planned to build a life, have bought and taken care of a home, saved for your children’s college or for your retirement. Then, things do not work out as you had hoped. Litigation ensues and you pay money to attorneys who work diligently to take care of you and your case and to obtain the result that you desire. You pay for private investigators, drug tests, co-parenting classes, counseling and psychological evaluations. You pay for expert witnesses, forensic accountants, business valuators, court reporters and the costs of discovery. Then you take the witness stand in a public setting and, after first swearing to tell the truth under penalty of perjury, you tell the world how terrible that you believe your spouse, the parent to your children, is and hear them do the same. This, against the person that you have shared your most private and intimate moments with and who you will have to work with to raise your children. Your ability to meaningfully co-parent with them may be damaged beyond repair. When the hearing is over, often next comes the angst, waiting for the Judge’s ruling. You try to sleep, not knowing what the future holds for you and your family. What you do know is the expense. Financially, the money that you were saving to build the best life for yourself or your children has been reduced. Emotionally, you have felt the expense as well through sleeplessness, insecurity, anger, pain, sadness and bitterness. You may have built a lack of trust in others, certainly in your spouse, but also have developed resentment. There are times when you may feel as if you are on a runaway train and cannot find a way to get off.

Loss of Control

Some decide that the best way to settle their differences is through trial. In making this decision, they decide to give control over their future and their day-to-day lives to a person that they do not know. This stranger, dressed in a black robe, is either elected by the public or appointed to the position and does not know their story or circumstances until the trial begins. Before the Judge has heard from anyone, he or she is often told what the issues are to be decided and determines how much time will be allowed for the parties to tell their stories. As the trial begins, the ability of those involved to tell their story, explain their positions and argue what they believe the necessary result needs to be are restricted by the rules of evidence, the rules of procedure and the time constraints placed upon them. The trial then proceeds and the Judge will work diligently (within the bounds of the law, the legal presumptions provided to them by the State of Texas, the rules of evidence and the rules of procedure) to make what they believe to be the proper ruling. The Court’s final determination may be issued at the conclusion of trial or at times may come weeks later. In the area of Family Law, our Judges are given wide discretion in making their rulings, particularly as they relate to children. Due to this wide latitude they are provided, their decisions are not often altered through the appeal process. Many litigants feel at the conclusion of trial that they were not truly able to effectively describe their story, circumstances, concerns and the reasons why that they believe that their requests were for the best result.

MEDIATION

Mediation is a formalized process of negotiation aimed at assisting in reaching a resolution.

Privacy

Privacy is of utmost importance to us throughout the mediation process. None of the discussions which take place during the mediation can be used in Court or disclosed to the Judge of your case. The rules of the process are intended to respect privacy for a very important reason: If people are worried that what they say during mediation will bring harm to their case, they won’t genuinely communicate. If the people involved in a mediation are unable to genuinely communicate, reaching a resolution is practically impossible.

Privacy is also important to many in that it is shielded from public view, from family, friends and strangers-alike. The process of compromise and working in a constructive and collaborative manner to build a new and workable life is yours alone and should not be for public consumption. Cases often involve facts involving mistakes or challenges experienced in life that would otherwise be embarrassing if discussed in public. In mediation, these issues may be addressed proactively, though in private, shielded from public view.

You are in Control

Mediation differs very distinctly from a trial. In mediation, you exercise direct control over the outcome. You tell your story how that you choose to tell your story without any interruptions with objections or rules. We will proceed as quickly or deliberately as you choose to proceed. You can take time to ask questions and consult with your lawyer. The process is about you.

When settlement is reached, it is final. It can’t be changed and no one can back-out due to second thoughts. Most importantly, the Judge cannot change or alter your agreement and must sign a Court Order which reflects the terms of your agreement.